Years ago when our sons graduated from high school, my wife gave them each a personal heartfelt letter of blessing, instruction and detailing their future responsibilities toward God in their lives. Recently, after they had started their own families and started having children, she sent this letter to them.
What a Loving Dad Owes His Child:
Remember that your daughter or son knows nothing. In fact, God tells us in Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” A child’s brain is perfect for keeping all of their necessary bodily functions going but as far as learning or practicing self-control it is a slooooowww but fun process that you teach. Also remember that a “rod of correction” signifies more of the unbending will of the parent not to allow their child to become a menace or an irritant to polite society. Good behavior is not only pleasing to God but it allows your child to observe life and learn and make beautiful memories. Once a child thinks they are the center of everyone’s universe, they squelch the opportunity to learn and become productive.
1. Always lead with love and the wisdom from God’s Word. Teach your child that God is their Father and Jesus Christ is their brother.
2. Good behavior must be practiced inside the home. If they are not polite inside, they will not be polite outside.
3. Teach them respect. They need to respect the things you give them and then they’ll respect the things of others. Teach them what it is to be a good steward of all God has given them and you. You show them what thankfulness is and how it leads to praising God.
4. No screeching inside the house. No biting. No pushing. No hitting. No sassing. Once again, if they do it inside the house, they will do it outside the house. No one and I repeat no one thinks these behaviors are cute or pleasant. People walk away from your home judging you and them and it won’t be positive. All negative opinions someone has of your child will come from you not teaching your child right behavior. Never give others a chance to cast aspersions on your child because it will be your fault. You dropped the ball and now your child will pay for your lack of commitment to them.
5. Continue to encourage the adage “Always do what’s right”. Say it to your child frequently and explain why they should do the right thing. If they want success in school - do what is right. If they want success in sports - do what is right. If they want a productive relationship with people (including their parents) – do the right thing. You know and I know that what you’re encouraging your child to do is all that God commanded them to do. Obedience to God and their parents breeds success and will always save their lives.
6. Lessons are taught in 2 ways. You are either giving the example of ‘how to do things’ or ‘things you should not do’. Jesus Christ never taught from the latter category and you shouldn’t either. Most of my early lessons in life came from the latter category but God is tender and merciful and made sure I learned valuable lessons anyway. Your child watches everything you do and whether they want to or not they will follow, for the most part, your actions. Set an example worthy of following.
7. There will be many times in their lives where you will have to teach your child about the sniveling, cowardly, ugly but powerful and relentless enemy they have (the devil). Right now, and for a very long time, that responsibility falls on your shoulders and if you are wise and loving you will bring the grace of God and the intercession Jesus Christ makes for all God’s children into every moment of the life of your child. Teach your child about their Father and brother. Pray for them continually. Teach them to pray and seek the things of God. Be observant. Ask God to help you keep your child safe and He will. Say no. Say yes. Timing is important. Many times, I could see the road to destruction in families when the parents thought the child was smarter that they actually were. That is a trick of the evil one. God tells you all about your child – believe Him.
8. Love and obey. I’m not talking about your child here. I’m talking to and about you. You will always be God’s child. As you walk with your Father, you take your child with you and teach her or him to do the same. It’s beautiful and it’s love and light. We don’t cease to hold you and your lovely families up to the Father and neither does Jesus Christ. Rejoice and be thankful!!
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deut. 6: 4-9
“Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6: 31-33
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